Today intake: 

B-0, even though the boy brought me a snack in bed, i was honestly not hungry and knew if i did eat that, it would spur hunger.
L- jamba juice smoothie. which is way more calories than i would like to be in a smoothie but at least its not the worst thing in the world.
D- chicken quesadilla at school, I'm here working all night so i needed some solid food in me, as i was getting quite dizzy walking around to all our different studios talking about work, which could be because of all the toxic chemicals people use, or the fact that I was hungry. Maybe 50/50. 

I have to go pick up more dog food, and i know once i get home the boy is going to ask about dinner but it'll be pretty late by that point and I can bring him home something and then skip a second meal, even though he always wants to eat with me (not out of concern, but because its just something were supposed to do together.... which is nice, but super inconvenient for me sometimes). 

At school today I've been incredibly annoyed because we have a visiting artist teaching a class and I'm pretty convinced she doesn't like me, with no reason evidence to back up her decision. I do the work, I participate, I have interesting and critical things to say. But both weeks, my contributions have been the last things we discuss so I always have no time to talk, me and two people got lost on the way to the studio today (we mixed up who was going first) and then she was really strict about us being late and i was explaining that we were waiting at the other studio and then went back to class, and she didnt give a shit. Then we went to my studio and were talking about a lot of my work and ideas and unlike the other studio visits which were much more fun and goofy and interesting, she was challenging me. Which is fine, Im up for a debate or can defend my work and decisions, but at the same time, I also am at a point where Im kind of over her and her obvious bias. My mother would tell me to win her over with doing extra work and going out of my way to impress her. I think she may be trying to appear extra tough being a visiting faculty, where she'll yell at anyone who glances at their phone, or are 5 minutes late to class, where in other classes, people will be in their own world and show up half way through class and wander in and out and be on their phones and everyone knows that they're just ruining it for themselves. were all adults here and know we're here because we want to be. we are not in high school where the teachers need to be hovering over us at every second. 

well, I have to get back to making work now, but ill be posting again soon. 
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We are supposed to think of this as the norm... Which is why we're here.

Back from tumblr

Hey ladies! 

So after spending a year or so on my tumblr account it finally got terminated for promoting unhealthy behavior. It's saddening in this way that I literally lost a big chunk of time in my life. Any accounts I deleted myself, I exported the material so I still have a means to access my thoughts at that time. But I guess it's time to start new. 

It's unfortunate to lose all my followers over there but I'm glad to be back with you all abs hopefully be making more connections over here too. One thing I missed a lot over the past year is there's a lack of conversation on tumblr. There's no way to comment, other than a private message, and to not have support other than a Like button, is really hard and disconnected. 

I'll be posting my new stats and goals on here soon. 

It feels good to be back, I've missed you all!