4 carrots
handful of m&m's
started watching shows again. intervention. whats eating you. thin. etc.. Its making that mindset i had, in the deepest moments of this all come back so strong. It was the loneliest time of my life, but i miss it. so much. And im almost a bit competitive. The bf is an addict, recovered. recovering? and he knows about my eating. He went to treatment and all that, and I feel like I need to prove that mine is as serious as his. is that weird?
I hate watching intervention w him, the drug ones- the ones that pertain to his addiction. Because, although it may not be his same mindset, it was him. and the things he did was him. and i cannot picture the guy im with, being the same guy who's done those things. and thinking about it, it really scares me. Because i feel like there is a huge part of this person that I do not know. and he is super quiet, so that silence adds a certain level of the unknown, and fear.
anyways. Im starving again. and weighing myself several times a day. and went to the store and purchased a lot of drinks and juices, and 100 calorie packs and veggies. I can do this again.
and working at the ED transitional living, it will only be a constant motivation.
