We will never be the fat friend... Promise me girls!

Yesterday's intake:
Mini muffin
1/2 slice pizza
Bread roll
.... The bread roll pushed me over my breaking point. The guilt was overwhelming. & it made the hunger act up. My stomach was growling all night-still is- & I tried pushing my fingers into my stomach to make it stop. It didn't help much.
Today I've only had a CapriSun to drink. We went to get food but I resisted. Plus I just started my period so I'm all bloated which is a terrible problem seeing as how sensitive I am at the moment to any sort of intake. I feel like I've got a constant full meal in my stomach at all times. Oh, & I haven't taken a shot for about 5 days. I know you want all the yummy details, but just sayin... Hah
Anyways, I'm off to go busy my mind.
Xoxo

I would have gotten through the entire day having only a soda but at dinner my aunt n cousins started making this whole big deal (in that jokingly serious tone) that theyve taken a vote & they've never seen me eat anything so I HAD to go make a plate of dinner. It wasn't so bad but it threw off my week. That was 2-3 days ago? & now my intake has risen from 10 ff a day or a slice of toast to like, 300-500 Cals a day. Not super overdoing it, but it's more, way more, than i would like...
I told my cousin a lil about it last night. He's noticed certain symptoms n so I explained a bit, he didn't - he couldn't understand it completely. The anger & guilt that is attached to every bite. You can't explain that sort of pain. I thought out of anyone he'd understand the most bc he just recovered from a pill addiction & theres similarities in behavior, that helplessness & what not.. We both can't just, stop it change , ya know..
Anyways, I think hes more sympathetic now - but i hated looking into those eyes- just full of pity, or that's what it seemed like.. We'll see how things go from here on out though..
But I gotta say, being w a guy is the ultimate diet motivation bc you can't hide fat when your naked... Or in underwear.

Intake:
Approx 10-15 French fries.

Thasit! :)

So I totally blew it yesterday..
1 piece toast w pb
Chips
1/2 chicken sand
& a churro

Today:
1 chicken sandwich...
....but I walked an hour there, & an hour back. Burned off most of it.

That's it for the rest of the day. I promise!! I feel disgusting now. I always screw myself over when I've been doing so good. But I'm going to catch myself at the slip instead of the fall.
Still on my phone, I'll catch up on all of you when I get home, I promise! Xoxo

Kwick pohst :]

Intake so far: 0 nuffin!
Im planning on having a little something later but nothing big. 100-180 cals, maybe. But who knows. Today could turn into a fast day. It's been awhile since one of those.
Still blogging from my phone cause I'm outta state w/o my computer, so I have to do quick entries.
Xoxo ladies.

Today's intake:
1/2 turkey sand.
& 100 cal bag of chips

G'evening ladies...
Out of state for a few days, but doing well.
Yesterdays intake: 1/4 cup spaghetti & a roll.
Today's intake: 3 chips. 1 Bite size candy.

I've been feeling dizzy, can't focus (eyes... Or mind), blue nails, freezing, bruising easily, all these symptoms are coming back & I'm so excited. It means I'm actually on track & doing what im suppose to be. I can feel myself getting lighter, but the fat still hides away, tucked into those corners of our bodies, & I'm on a witch hunt for them!
Check in on you all soon.
Xoxo

Sorrow Found me when i was young....

todays intake:

1/2 sandwich (1 egg overeasy, lettuce, onion, mustard) 

&&&& IM GOING TO SEE ___THE NATIONAL__ TONIGHT AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL! ah im soooooOOoOooooo excited! 

Breakfast & lunch :]

yesterday's intake: 20 tortilla chips & burned calories riding horses. & took 2 diet pills & 6 laxatives.

Stay strong lovelies ! Xoxo

Today's intake:

ricecake w a little peanut butter : 35+30 =65
Personal training = -700
chewy bar= 90 cal
pilates= -150
beef jerky= 80

Net total: -615

not too shabby eh.

Im counting the ABC at midnight.
and usually its the point where you fall asleep and then wake up.
but i cant count that last night, because then i would have definitely messed up on day 1 and how embarrassing would that be...
my friend called me to come over last night and she made us these amazing little burgers & wine and then we watched Misfits and ate sweets & drank Hornsby spiced cider beer.
very very bad. all of that was way too much calories
but split into the two days, i think im safe.
Anyways, I just had a rice caked with a little itty bitty bit of peanut butter on it for protein, going to go work out w my personal trainer right now who runs me into the ground. thatll work off a lot of it. we burn like 700-800 calories usually. and thats it for the day. only 0 cal liquids after.
what bums me out, is when i ate last night, i wasnt even hungry, i was doing it to be a good friend and fit it and have a good girls night for her n what not. and those are the times that kill me. bc i could have control, but i choose not to for the sake of someone else. ugh. whatever.
off to the gym,
xoxo

Blame it on bad luck

get ready for an explosion of thinspo!

ps. Im starting the ABC diet again.. i know it has a very very low success rate of people actually finishing, but might as well keep trying!
Monday, day 1: 500.
Ive had a taco (and thats all i planned on eating) so i have room for a drink or so late.
1 taco = approx 300

Lets go!!

Please join me in the ABC diet. Especially if you need some structure... we'll be obesity together :D