STICKS & BONES

Were all here, existing, just for the ones we love. suffering through the pains of life just to make their life, maybe, a little less painful. while they try to ease our pain simultaneously. and our own existence would be meaningless and insignificant without sharing it with the people you love. Happiness is only real when shared. maybe. no. it is true. completely.

I am here to make your life lighter, brighter, happier, easier, more comfortable, more beautiful. I want to share all things great in hopes to defeat all things evil. I saw someone write, You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. but, in a more frightening sense, its reciprocal is true as well. you cannot open yourself up to happiness without opening yourself up to the possibility of sadness- and while it is human, its almost humanly unbearable to suffer in that pain, a pain that no medicine can cure, unless you drown yourself into the pharmaceutical pit of despair, withdrawing from pain… from reality.

we must learn to lean on the ones that love us, to put ourselves completely in their care to ease our suffering. The beauty, the love, and all the amazing things that happen at every moment- not only right in front of me, but all over the world, and in our universe as well. Life is too temporary to concern ourselves over things out of reach.  all i can do is be, and love, and do well to others and expect the same in return.

But- the questions, paranoia, or past lives of harder times are keeping an eye at a close distance. Convincing. We are destined to a life of isolation. no one understands you, and no one wants to understand you. In those times of loneliness when you feel your mass evaporate and your shell is about to cave in on itself, its hard to see further than the immediate pain that is being projected and played in your mind. endlessly.

But great things would not be great without risk, heart, courage, pain, triumph, and failure. and i fear that worse than diverging paths is a path of indifference. of settling. of remaining due to nothing more appealing in this moment. The wonder of past lives and the chance its merged into this one.

I do not love easily, i do not trust easily. I fear the difficulty of the second will destroy the first. the silence is getting louder, and as we are quiet, and the room is empty, everything seems heavy.

The world is full of sorrow, and worry, and loss, and loneliness.. even in the most crowded rooms or in the arms of a loved one, it exists. and all we do in our life is try to find and fight for every moment we dont have to feel those things. and they seem so great because they dont last long, and they are forever unattainable. the glimpses we see keep us chasing that light, but When we can see it clearly, its all over anyways.

De Botton wrote, However sad death it, it would take a hardy adult to accept an offer magically to return to 7 and start over.

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ps. I am in love wih Freja Erichsen's body and look. ah!