3:44 pm

Hey ladies,
sorry ive been away.. I went home for a few days.
Things are well though.
Ive been averaging 1/2 a sandwich a day..

My cousin has been staying w me and he knows kinda about my eating. He knows that i dont eat, and he knows that i take pills too.
He is recently recovered from his own addiction so its a nice lil sick-understanding...
He covers for me too. When i dont eat, he'll tell my mom, "WE ate lunch not too long ago"
but he tells me i need to eat. but wont push me. he knows...

 anyways..
so i think im losing. slowly but surely.
I just purchased a candle, "Mulled Cider" by Village Candle that reminds me of two winters ago when I was in my most sick point. and it keeps me motivated. which is odd but amazing... smells are ridiculously powerful when it comes to memory so im glad i found this candle again.

I have to leave to go to a art museum opening right now though, but ill catch up with you all soon.
XOXO
-JANE DOE

2:33 pm

Yesterday:
1/2 turkey sandwich
1/2 plate pad thai (wasnt planning on that- but i went with my friend after an artist lecture. Im upset with myself at that, but what can i do? .... not eat it next time i guess. heh)

Today:
1/2 chicken sandwich
1 sugar cookie
&
Going to pilates at 5.


Not an exciting post, but i didnt get any sleep last night, so im going to take a nap and edit this so its not a waste of your time. haha

11:50 am

yesterdays intake:
1/2 turkey sandwich on whole wheat w no mayo.
1 spoon of peanut butter

Horse back riding 1 hour
1 hour pilates

6 diet pills
2 diuretics


I plan on about the same sorta intake today.

Ps the CliniCAL am/pm pills seem to actually help a lot. I got my appetite under control, like- not hungry at all- i feel thinner, and am shrinking... theyre the 1 pill that actually has done something. So if youre looking for a new diet pill, i highly suggest this... I have the link to a purchase area in a post a few days ago.

off to work.
post later.
 xoxo

THINSPO-YO

Intake:

1 starbucks drink- no whip- obviously

small salad w 3 bites of tofu. (100?)

1 string cheese (80) 

Healthy Trail mix (70)

Off:

2 am diet pills

2 pm piet pills

4 other diet pills

3 lax

2 diuretics 

now set down that plate of fat and feel that tummy growl, congratulating you on a job well done. 

3:10 am

intake:
1 crepe (starberries & nutella)
1/4 cup chicken & 3 bites of spinach
a few bites of carrot cake.

so not the best day. but be fair. It could have been much much worse.
i spent two days and the night with my two friends Bri & Neil. They each had 1 & 1/2 crepes. & for dinner, pasta,carrot and chocolate cake, chips... I think i did fairly well.
Not the best, but because of that, at 2 am this morning i carried my tired ass to the gym and burned off 400 calories....

I say tired ass because i got 3 hours of sleep this morning from 7 am -10 am.
Because the three of us and my puppy all slept in his bed, a queen size i think, totally squished, and all super hyper. and all totally insane. I was annoyed because comforter and sheets were all messed up and not matching up and twisted. B was freaking out because we'd lay on the sheet and shed get "trapped" and start getting claustrophobic and panic. N was blasting music like it was some disco party and read us two childrens books to try to get us to sleep and then would randomly start yelling and getting all exaggerated. and my pup decided he wanted to sleep on our pillows and just took up the most inconvenient space. So i decide, it'd be better to turn and sleep across the bed, and just curl up rather than squeeze together, which totally worked, and we finally fell asleep.... but that was at 7 am..

anyways. so it was a bit insane. and yesterday i went horseback riding and did hardcore pilates, so today my entire body is like corpse stiff!

so im hoping to see some progress here real soon.
I ordered new clinical am/pm online so that should be arriving soon. & trying to find my laxatives around here somewhere, and drink more yerba mate tea. :)

lose pounds fast. im determined.

ok its 3:10 am. time to sleep. :}
night night lovely ladies.

12:40am

Hello lovely ladies!
Lets begin,

Intake:
       1/2 cup chicken salad (100?)
       1/2 chicken breast w bell peppers (90)
       york bar(165)
Burned:
       Housework, elliptical, running (-500)
355
-500
=
NET : -145

not too bad... ive been on a mediocre streak, like not too much food but not working out. so im back on the treadmill wagon! its always a tedious start but i cant wait. And you all help so much.

I got a ish ton of thinspo for you all today too. :D

Today, i cleaned the balcony.
let me clarify, im on the top corner of my building, on the 4th story, in a nice little community, below my building is a bunch of shops.. my puppy (when he cant hold it till our walks) will go to the bathroom on my blacony.
So after the stench of urine and stool started wandering into my condo and making me nauseous, i drove across the street to purchase the tools to conquer this monster.
bucket, hard brush, Pine-sol, bleach, carpet cleaner, etc etc.. a total of $145.
Came home, and for about an hour just scrubbed and scrubbed and threw water down and scrubbed and bleached, and more water till i could get it as clean as i could... i look over the side of my balcony to see where the water was going. turns out, it just shoots right out the other side of the balcony wall and getting all 3 balconies below, and the sidewalk covered in a pine-sol-urine-shit-bleach cocktail. i ducked down, and just kept on scrubbing.
i think the building management would appreciate that im taking care of my balcony at least. :)
So i cleaned and cleaned all day. went to the gym, and now doing some work.. long day, but its good. im ready for sleep.

therapy tomorrow- first session back after a month off. not excited to go. I feel too doctor-patient and less, buddy-buddy so i can never really open up to her. I feel like its way too formal. And she knows that.
I get to see my horse tomorrow too!
and pilates as well!!
oh tomorrow will be great, after my appointment.

i also need to get new CliniCAL am/pm diet pills bc those seemed to be the most effective, and also get the birth control shot- because im pretty sure that helped me lose almost all my appetite and kick me into ana-mode.
it causes loss of bone density i think they said, but they can give you stuff for that too- so im going to try that.

OKAY, TIME FO THE THINSPO YO!

Hello old followers & new followers to the New location!
Clearly, ive been having some  issues...
When i set up my first blog (and 2nd and 3rd) Ive used the same email and what not, which had my name! ... i noticed that when signing up for Google+ and in my photo album archive, all my thinspo was there... not so discrete.
So i go to delete that album, turns out, it removed all photos that i had ever posted on here. (so every post now has blanks for thinspo).
But now im all set up, 100% Jane Doe now. No trace of me. And i am ready to begin this all over again.
Seeing this is annoying, having 93 followers, and now back to... 5 as of right now.
But you all are amazing and i love you all, and hope the transition comes smoothly.
Im getting ready to walk out the door but ill say some quick updates...
1) ive been eating pretty well. a few slips up here and there, but for the most part- im on top of it!
2) having been working out because of the new puppy, and thats driving me crazy but i hope to change that tonight!
3) havent weighed myself in weeks, im far too terrified. shorts that fit when i was happy arent fitting, and thats a big sign i shouldnt step on the scale quite yet!! :/
XOXO
JANE_DOE

:(