So after I found out he had a gf and told him he was being insincere and i would never understand what hes doing, we didnt talk for a day and this is what happened tonight .
(he is bold, i am unbold)
Hi
hi
Hows it going?
ok, you?
working on a dumb poster for class
lame
for realzies.... so you kinda hate me now?
no. I dont hate you. but i do have some problems, both with myself and with you.
im sorry... :/
theres no reason for you to apologize
yeah i feel like there is... I hurt you, and you have problems with me.
I should have expected this though. It was dumb on my part. But i am not going to go into details why i have problems w you. Were still friends, thats not gonna change, but theres just some... frustration right now.
i understand..
can you explain then please, why string me along if you knew nothing was going to happen?
i wasnt trying to string you along.. and in all honesty i didnt know how things were gonna end up. i didnt know that "nothing was gonna happen" and i didnt know me and her would get real serious again so quick.
Youve always held back though, using her as your excuse mostly, even while on a break, but you never wanted to come here and visit, youve claimed to be too nervous, its always been this struggle. You said something like, 'youd be an idiot to not jump at this chance'- but youve just been setting up obstacles. so you must have known that things werent really going to work out, otherwise you would have tried, and been enthusiastic.
i really feel almost like double personalities... I really really wanna visit LA and spend a lot of time with you and maybe even see where things could go, but thats like part of the time. Part of the time i feel really stupid for wanting that because of what i have/had/could have wit ___. But there are times where im with her or talking to her where part of me is thinking about you. Its terrible and i never meant it to hurt anybody but needless to say it did.
i really wanted to see what could happen, i thought it could be pretty amazing, but i dont allow myself to get hurt, and unfortunately i dont think i could believe you if in the future you finally wanted me. So, you should prolly just focus on ____ 200%. since thats who you really cant live without evidently- so embrace her. and give your relationship all your effort. bc half your attention isnt fair to any girl.
can we go back to friends now :(
sure
sure?
ya.
back to friends
you make it seem like the worst thing ever
its not the ideal scenario, but whatevs. dust will settle, life will be back to normal, and we'll be back to friends.
********************************
and thats where it ended.....
So i munched on food all day bc ive been writing this paper and im still not done and its due in a couple hours, but after 8 am, im starting like a week-long fast. literally... i need to shed all this stress-emotional weight. hah
so, boys suck. food sucks. im tired and want to go into hibernation.
ps- chloe- youre amazing. :) haha
back to my essay, goodnight ladies!
xoxo
sounds really frustrating but how do you feel about it? you sounded really okay with it though.
ReplyDeleterelationships suck. that's why I don't bother to get into one. Nobody knows exactly what they want and everybody turns up being hurt.
stay strong and I'm pretty sure the next boy you'll meet he would have eyes only for you!
have a wonderful spring start *
awe thanks darling.
ReplyDeleteand that sounds like a pretty intense conversation. the thing is, he knows he likes two girls and he actually admitted it, but you really told him exactly what you were thinking, I admire that, cause it takes so much courage for me to do that! I'll be fasting for a while too!!
xo Chloe