of curves
of fleshiness
of rolls
of being in denial- thinking that im still in control. and that I have gained that much weight.... When i eat, just putting it out of my mind so i wont make myself cry.
Im sick of it.
I need people to worry again. To look at me with that slight tilt and raised brow of sympathy. I need to hear those whispers cross friends lips.
i need the chills, the shakes, the lightheadedness, the cold blue fingertips, the hunger pains that make you smile, the feeling of loss and loose clothing.
you have no idea how much i crave sickness. I need it back. I will get it back, and i will win it over, even if it kills me.
Ordinary, healthy, average, standard, will not be me.
we will overcome this battle.
i need that back as well
ReplyDelete