I feel so fat lately. a fatty stomach i cant get rid of, flabby thighs I cant run off, and all the other fat that hides itself around my skeleton, preventing be from true beauty.
Tonight though, someone told me i was anorexic after I her them a modeling scout told me I couldnt meet with Ford, Elite, and W - who were all interested in me- until i lost weight because my hips were too wide. After she said that, I tried as hard as I could not to smile, but I felt guilty because Im no where near that standard, and I wish i could accept that statement.
My friend just keeps dragging me along to all her meals and yells at me when I dont eat. She keeps checking up on me every second of the day , i love her to death but I kind of wish she was a little more oblivious! :/
I think i really need to not worry about her and really return the focus to me and my goals. As selfish as that may be, I need to if I am going to be happy. I feel disgusting lately. Blubber, heavy, jiggly, flobby, cellulite, calories, intake, exercise, food, fast, liquids, shaking, fullness, bloated, emptiness... it never ends. But we all know our goals and what we must do to succeed.
I beg for all your help to help me along.
My ana buddy is amazing!! and has been so helpful.
Love you ladies.
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