STICKS & BONES

Good news and bad news i suppose.
Maybe its good news and good news. Depends on how i look at it.
It flip flops throughout the day depending on whether im feeling optimistic :) or pessimistic >:/ 
so, 3 days ago, while being at home and gorging myself like a beefer, i , along with my brother, got really really really sick and we both ended up throwing up everything we had in our tummies. There was nothing left in our stomachs after our rushed trips to the loo. heh 
Whats funny, maybe not, is when i first felt nauseous, and my brother said he threw up and felt a lot better, i was like... ok, i gotta throw up! (and ive only purged 2 times in my life. not my thing) but i run to the bathroom and stick a toothbrush down my throat trying to vomit so i can feel better, then it hits me.... this isnt normal behavior. haha people just wait till they feel sick enough and it travels up their throat "naturally".. oh well. i emptied my stomach for 2 days and nothing sounded appetizing. so i hope thats a few pounds i lost. :)   (good news) 
bad or maybe good news, I was working at a gallery, and left on a trip because i just graduated from college and i didnt give them enough warning ahead of time...  so i come in today, a week later, and i go to walk to my desk area, and a new intern walks around... immediately im like; oh shit, this isnt a good sign!  (interns are never double booked). Yada Yada Yada (Seinfeld reference, please please please you all better be fans. haha) so, yada yada yada she ends up letting me go. Im just like, "thats fine." I hand her the key to the gallery and leave. Had a beautiful day to myself. So sounds like bad news right. getting fired usually isnt the thing to put a smile on your face unless you work in a cubicle in a dimly lit office building in the middle of no where with poor odors floating around, and then you quit while causing a bit dramatic scene for a sweet revenge after 8 years of contemplating the best way to quit. But, 1) i do not want to own a gallery. I do want to show in one, but not own. So ive learned all that i can there basically. 2) im not going to start working for other artists which is what i actually want to do until i can be a working artist myself and get paid to do my thang. I have 1 photographer (SUPER famous) who requested me, we have mutual friends, but im going to do some stuff for him which is really exciting. and then do a few more assisting stuff till i ...."get discovered"- whatever that really means. 
I start looking for a studio this week w some friends from school. very excited to have a work space !! im freaking out though, without school and structure and completely up to me to be motivated, and critical, and awesome- its difficult. but im excited. i get freaked out about 3 times a day still, so im anticipating a lot more restricting in these times of the unknown. 
aaaaanyways, thats basically it for now.  i mean i have a lot to share i guess,
i went to NYC for a week, then back up to norcal, hung out with my brother and his friends for a week, (one i see all the time down here in la, and another one is one that admitted he liked me like 5 times now? so it was a bit awkward. he took the harsher/sarcastic/meanie friend approach this time. he wasnt mean, but it was definitely awkward and different.) 
anyways now im back to la. working on my life, get to see my horse, going to look for a puppy, and try to just chill and not be a total controlling spaz. 
to distract me, i decided to be a total nerd and do an x files marathon. I only remember like 5 episodes from when i was a kid and my brother had them (he has 4 bookcases full of dvds!! my own personal rental store) so its a good distraction. boy situation, cant even talk about. nothings happening and its driving me crazy. 
im going to go work out now i think. i need to do something and that something will not involve eating! so might as well do the opposite. :} 
i plan on catching up with you all this week. 
xoxo