STICKS & BONES

Emma, from Burn the Memories, Starve the Thoughts asked this question, 
If there was one thing you could tell people without eating disorders about eating disorders to help them better understand what it's like living with an ED or to help clear up common misunderstandings about eating disorders, what would it be?


I thought it was an important question so ill just post my answer here as well: 


              one thing that i noticed is that when mine started, i sort of had this vision, of being super thin, and happy and hanging out with friends and you know, sort of the same fun routine as before, but just, better... but as i was getting more and more into it, i was feeling more and more isolated. There has never been a time where i felt more alone. Everything seemed to be falling apart, i always described that feeling like, theres a sculpture or globe or something, and its cracking, slowly breaking down and its about to come crashing down, and im running around it frantically trying to tape and glue and keep it in tact, but its exhausting and sooner or later its going to come crashing down.... I was trying to salvage any life i had prior, but i was lonely, and numb, and even when i was with friends i had nothing to say anymore. They would get angry at me for not eating and i could overhear them (and lots of strangers) talking shit about me. All my friends wanted to go out to lunch or dinner, and wouldn't invite me along anymore because i wasn't eating. I built up this glamorous expectation, and there were exciting moments, but when the highlight of your week is just stepping on a scale to see a number go down, isnt that pathetic (pathetic to the 'normal' person.... because that still makes me happy)... anyways, that one thing that really stood out to me.