I was actually getting ready to head downstairs with i caught my reflection in the mirror. I stood there for two minutes, telling myself id be so proud in the morning knowing i didnt give in... walking away i felt the urge grow again...
So like an addict running to a meeting in times of weakness, i am running to you all...
I will not give in. I am stronger than this. I do not feel hunger. I will shrink. And be tiny. and thin. and beautiful. and i will not feel ashamed of my body and feel self conscious in every item of clothing i own. I will lose weight and be happy. And none of that will happen by running downstairs and stuffing my face with food!!
because i want this::
not this:::
EDIT:: **** The fat girl spoke too soon... 30 minutes and 1 cup of pasta and frozen yogurt later.... I feel fatter than ever, with a big belly, and even more furious at myself than ever. What happened in 30 minutes that made me so weak? FML. Tomorrow, is DEFINITELY A FAST! even if it kills me. No food. no food. no food!!! I can do ONE DAY.. come on now. and im riding in the morning, but id also like to fit in one more work out too, punishing me for my food relapse tonight. grr. apparently i am the girl in the bottom picture! ugh. Maybe i should literally sew my mouth shut?
i'm fasting tomorrow to. i know the feeling of the lure to the kitchen. we'll do it together.
ReplyDeletexo Chloe
oh i'm sorry hun. at least it was only 1 cup of pasta and a frozen yoghurt! you could have done a lot worse...if that helps. which i'm sure it doesn't, because i know how you feel. i do know that succeeding tomorrow and redeeming yourself will make you feel better, so focus on it and stay strong xx
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