I got upset with my therapist today, she got a bit more stern for a moment... saying that my way (starving myself) wasnt working (because recently ive been trying to eat some days and then freak out and fast other days, so ultimately ive gained a few pounds) so why not try things her way (eating low fat foods 3 times a day)... So our next session were going to whole foods to go shopping.
I went to the store today and picked up some good food (before therapy).. After therapy, i came home and ate. ate. ate. I feel gross... stupid emotional eating.
My new plan, is to only eat less than 200 calories a day. Less is fine, but definitely nothing more. plus working out. and im so sick of failing. Making plans and failing. its pathetic. Im ready to lose, and get excited again, and fast, and shake, and get dizzy, and be cold, and shrink. I MIIISSSSSS IT! Starting tomorrow morning, first time.. 200 cal a day or less, plus work outs, no slipping up, and i will successfully be sick and f'd up! hah
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