therapist made me get on the scale today. I am way higher than i thought i was at..... I totally broke down, started crying, and couldnt think about anything else besides the number, and my plan to fast, and fast til i hit my goal weight. I am still in shock.
I bought coffee to brew daily so I fill up on coffee, tea, and water and have no room for snacking. And I am eliminating all breads and sugar from my diet. Basically I will survive on coffee tea water and granola, vegetables and fruit (I know theres sugar in fruit, but i want to eliminate only the sweets kinda sugar)..
I am going back to my habit of keeping a detailed log of my intake.
That kept me on track before, and it will work again
Im seriously panicking like crazy right now.
I wish I could give myself lipo!
Well, im a wreck, and cannot think, and therefore cannot write.
Im going to sleep. Ready for an empty-bellied-month. & Maybe by May i will have lost some weight!
I hope you are all doing way better than me.
I feel like a totally failure. But its my body, my life, and I will not let myself be unhappy with sometime i have control of. I will change, and manipulate my form til its perfect.
cheers to determination, will power, and perfection
xoxo
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