Burned: 2 hours riding horse.
Once again I didnt make it to the gym & its definitely starting to show. I am ultra aware of it & its really getting to me. Its constantly on my mind- obviously, it always is- but now its getting more vicious. Im really not being very obedient and going against my rules. My emotions are now turning more into an anger towards my body. I wish i could just rip the fat from my body. I tug and pull on my flabby arms and extra thigh. Kno
wing how far away I am til I can no longer grasp it. :( so much work. of course everyone else around me is already too worried that i am too thin and need to eat much more than i do. in one ear, out the other. That is all lies. I can see my lovehandles, and my tummy pooch, my too round thighs, and gravity pulling on my upper arms. I can see thick skin hiding my bones, and extra skin where a pretty lil calf muscle lies somewhere beneath.
I need to come up with a better plan til I leave back to my place. I need to force myself to go the gym, on top of riding and yoga. and throw some hikes in there every other day. if there's time to pout- there's time to work out! (emphasis on pout and out for the rhyme).. ha.
Well time to sleep again.
g'night girls.
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