STICKS & BONES

I was laying out in the pool with my friend today. She is the one person who makes me (usually the skinniest one of the group) feel so very chunkalicious. Im so jealous. She is my greatest motivation. and the one who makes me kick myself the most. She knows and always advises me to eat. She also has some ed history so theres no judgement, only encouraging good health. but if that was truly my main concern- i dont believe id be here.

Intake: 2 ravioli, 3 funsize chocolates, & handful of popcorn. (I fasted all the way til about 7pm, and then was forced to give in. ughh fail!)

I should have gone to the gym. I was planning on it, i was.. but then i got sucked into doing chores around the house, and picking up dinner for my family.

Anyways, im not going to make excuses. I could have done better.

Im currently waching The Big Bang Theory, how i love Dr Sheldon Cooper. haha what a fantastic character.

side tracked.

I am becoming more and more paranoid about fatty areas. My tiny muscles in my arms looked like lower arm flab- and i spent about 15-20 minutes preoccupied with the fact that they look like that, which is disgusting and how im doing the worst job ever at achieving my goals. my thighs, calves, arms, stomach, forearm, back, lovehandles, legs, etc etc etc every part of me just needs to get condensed. tightened. reduced. I am finally beginning to freak out again after a far too long period of being okay with my annoying plateau

. Hopefully this will scare me straight.

_JaneDoe